December 18, 2011
Dear California Santa Rosa Missionaries,
Today Sister Bunker and I are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary. Just think, we have been married longer than you all have been alive. I think what that really means is that we are simply old!
I love Sister Bunker and count her as the greatest gift that Heavenly Father has ever given me. She is as kind, loving, and easy going at home as she appears to be to each of you in public. There is neither pretense nor false image about her. Sister Bunker is “steadfast and immoveable” as the scriptures invite us all to be. In the Topical Guide under the heading of Steadfast, the other topics of a similar meaning that we are invited to study are commitment, courage, dedication, dependability, diligence, endure, faithfulness, integrity, loyalty, obedience, and perseverance. Someday I hope to grow up to be like Sister Bunker for she is all of those things, including a heavy dose of love, patience, and charity for all.
In DC 31:9 it counsels us to “be patient in afflictions, revile not against those that revile, govern your house in meekness, and be steadfast”. Thank you Sister Bunker for 30 years of your christlike example to me, and to our family, and to all you have influenced. I know my life would not be anything like it is without your example, your help, and your goodness.
Today I would also like to talk a little about one of the synonyms mentioned in the topical guide of being steadfast, and that is being dependable. In its simplest form, the word dependable to me means trust and to me, trust is everything. A good watch or timepiece is very valuable when it tells time accurately, but a watch no matter how beautifully adorned with gold or jewels is of little use if you cannot depend on it to tell time accurately. So it is with us. We have so much to offer to the world as missionaries; we have so much to offer to each other as brothers and sisters of a loving Heavenly Father; we have so much to offer a spouse, a family, and all those who come into our life if we can be counted on.
Once there was a class of young women who had planned a service project to help an elderly widow clean up her yard. The young women had promised to be at the widow’s home at 9:00am on a Saturday morning with rakes, hoes, a lawnmower, and trimmers for garden’s work. On the Saturday for the project, only the young women’s advisor and one young woman showed up at the widow’s home. Although they worked very hard until 1:00pm in the afternoon, they were able to accomplish far less than their goal because two people were trying to do the work of many. Answer to yourself these questions: How do you think the two who kept their commitment felt? What responsibility did the other class members have? How do you feel when other people make commitments and then fail to keep them?
Consider this observation give 40 years ago:
“There is a thought from Confucius that touches upon the point of many personal and public problems. ‘A man who lacks reliability is utterly useless,’ he said. In this there is much of what is wrong with the relationships of man to man – not being reliable, not being able to count on people to perform their part, to do what they say they will do when it needs to be done. And so disappointments and disillusionment occur from day to day. Someone says he’ll have something ready at a certain time, and it just isn’t ready. Someone borrows and says he’ll pay back or bring it back at a certain time, and it just isn’t paid back or brought back. Someone signs a contract and agrees to perform certain services, and just doesn’t do it. The list could be endlessly lengthened. Often there are unavoidable reasons, but sometimes it is a lack of reliability – and in some situations this could become not only frustrating but frightening. All this could perhaps be compared to a parachute that opens only part of the time, or brakes on a car that can’t be counted on consistently. Suppose we couldn’t count on the promises of God. Suppose the astronauts in orbit couldn’t count on the calculations that others have made, or couldn’t count on the universe being run reliably. Suppose we couldn’t count on the tides, or the sun, or the seasons. It isn’t the hit-and-miss performance that makes life possible, but the degree of reliability, dependability, consistency that can be counted on.” (Richard L. Evans, Ensign, Oct. 1971)
I understand that there will always be times in life when unforeseen circumstances, or when the frailties of mankind and lapses in judgment of people lead to mistakes of dependability. We all have been subject to those moments. When we are the innocent victims of such instances, let’s forgive fully, easily, and regularly. When we are the cause of someone else’s disappointment because of our lack of diligence, let’s ask humbly and sincerely for forgiveness, make amends if we are able, and strive to never repeat our mistake. Even as the world falls more and more into a place where it is rare for someone’s word to be counted on or relied upon, let us not fall into a similar pattern of skepticism, retaliation, or cynicism about the potential of people, nor the impact that our positive example and way of life can have on others, no matter how small our “sphere of influence” may be.
There is great power in the commitment of one or a few to change the attitude and direction of many. Just because there are so many who fail to have integrity or reliability and don’t have faith in society, don’t let that become a reason to lower your standards or expectations of behavior for yourself. Be a model of dependability.
Let’s all strive to be not nearly dependable, but always dependable. Let’s be faithful in even the little things as well as the big ones. When we keep commitments and accept responsibility fully, our lives will have greater value, just like a watch with no fancy jewels shows its value when it can be depended upon for the accurate telling of time. Such a watch and such a person is of great value.
Be a person who is of great use and worth – a person who can be depended upon. The single most important characteristic that I was attracted to in Sister Bunker all those years ago (yes, she was and still is very pretty!) was her dependability. She was no flake; she loved the Lord and wanted to live a life centered in Him and in the gospel, and I felt safe that I could entrust my life and future to her and with her. She has never once let me down or disappointed me, and she has been a north star for me to look toward in moments or times of uncertainty.
I express my love for each of you. I thank you each for your sacrifice and dedication to serve a mission. I express my admiration for you and for your dependability and for the integrity of your word. Let us be people who not only talk of Christ and preach of Christ, but who also walk like Him and who can be counted on by Him in even the small and simple things of life.
My love always,
President Bunker
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